


rock 'em, sock 'em, robots

by atamascolily



Series: slice(r) of life [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Battle Droids (Star Wars), First Meetings, Fusion of Star Wars Legends and Disney Canon, Illegal Droid Battles, M/M, Nerdiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27086026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/atamascolily
Summary: Snap enters Mr. Bones in an illegal droid-fighting competition for some quick cash. It helps that his opponent is a complete idiot... right?
Relationships: Zakarisz Ghent/Temmin "Snap" Wexley
Series: slice(r) of life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2164293
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs 2020





	rock 'em, sock 'em, robots

**Author's Note:**

  * For [virusq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/virusq/gifts).



There's a kid sitting under the bridge on the way to the broken-down warehouse where the illegal droid fights are held. His clothes are nothing special, but his aquamarine hair is a neon spark of color in the otherwise gray rubble, and Snap's eyes are drawn straight to him. From the makeshift tent the kid's strung up, and the battered backpack beside him, it looks like he's been holed up there for a while.

Snap frowns. The rainy season is approaching fast, and with it the sudden, violent storms that turn Myrra's bustling streets into fast-flowing rapids that send the inhabitants scrambling for cover up the storm ladders to the (relative) safety of the rooftops. No one who's lived longer than a season on Akiva would shelter under a bridge right now, which means the blue-haired kid must be a recent immigrant from off-world who doesn't know any better.

It doesn't help that the dude is really pretty-- _ridiculously_ pretty--for a street hobo. At least, Snap's pretty sure that's a dude--

"MASTER TEMMIN, LOOK OUT--"

With a curse, Snap swerves the bala-bala speeder just in time to avoid ramming into a corner of a fruit stall. The vendor swears at him, waving her fist as he zips away unscathed.

"Oh, come on, we weren't even close," Snap says to save face with his sole passenger.

Mr. Bones isn't buying it for a second. "YOU ARE DISTRACTED, MASTER TEMMIN. SHALL I TAKE OVER THE CONTROLS?"

"No, Bones, that won't be necessary." Snap spares a look at the refurbished B-1 battle droid, its casing bedecked with red and black filigree that are theoretically flames, though their main functions are to look intimidating and hide bloodstains better. "I got it, I promise."

Mr. Bones tuts with disapproval, but doesn't comment. Snap makes a point of paying scrupulous attention to the route after that and they make it to the warehouse without further incident.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Bonesy?" Snap asks in a low voice as he cuts the power to the engines. "We don't _have_ to do this. There are other ways to get some quick cash that don't involve risking yourself like this--"

Mr. Bones doesn't blink, but his programming includes sufficient grasp of humanoid body language to make his disdain obvious. "DON'T WORRY. I LOVE MURDER." He scans his data banks and pauses. "DOES IT COUNT AS MURDER IF THEY'RE NOT TECHNICALLY EVEN ALIVE?"

"Didn't know you were such a philosopher," Snap says with a shrug. He might have build Bones from scratch, but the droid's intelligence and ingenuity never fail to surprise him--and that's half the fun. "Come on, let's do this."

***

The warehouse is dimly lit and crowded, rife with the smell of neba and other, more illicit drugs that Snap can't identify. The only open space is the main floor where the battles take place; everything else is a press of bodies in various stages of inebriation. He can barely hear himself think over the clash of metal on metal in the makeshift arena and the audiences' corresponding boos and cheers. 

Snap has been to droid fights before, but this is his first time as a participant. His hands twitch as he fiddles his fingers to pass the time until their first battle is announced and he can push his way through the crowd to the edge of the ring and watch Bones in action.

Turns out, he needn't have worried: Bones wins the first match against another B1 battle droid hands down. This one looks like it was salvaged from the catacombs underneath Myrra just like Bones--but _this_ droid's owner didn't bother to upgrade its circuits, making it easy prey for Bones' cunning.

Bones' second opponent is trickier - an IG-86 assassin droid with a few clever modifications. Not clever enough to avoid being sliced to pieces with a vibroknife, mind you, and Snap beams with pride as Bones zooms in for the kill.

The third match is against a droideka with a working shield generator, which is only challenging if you don't know their weak points. Bones does, and the droideka ends up broken and crumpled on the floor even faster than the assassin droid.

Now as he waits for the fourth round to begin, Snap's finally starting to relax. With a trio of victories under his belt, he's got a hefty purse waiting for him at the betting stand, even with all the middlemen taking their cuts. He'll eat well tonight--and more importantly, get his hands on some of those used A15 data cubes for sale on the Holonet market. This is such a great idea, he can't believe he didn't think of it earlier.

Mr. Bones paces the floor as the crowd laughs and chatters around him, stuffing their faces and placing bets on the next round. Right now, Snap is the favorite to win by a 5-1 margin, and his confidence is boundless. He's got _such_ a good feeling about this--

Then his opponent steps out into the ring and Snap's happy mood evaporates like a thermal detonator. _What--_

The blue-haired kid from this morning prances in on tip-toes, carrying something black and oblong in his arms. He sets whatever it is gently on the floor and steps away as the crowd mutters in astonishment.

It's a chain of three linked Rebaxan Columni Class 3 MSE-6-series repair droid, commonly known as mouse droids. Calling them "droids" is too charitable-- they're simple black boxes on wheels, each one three-tenths of a meters long with a modular circuit matrix that can only handle the programming for one skill at a time. Rebaxan produced billions of these droids, flooding the market with ads for the "cute" service machines, which the general public ignored on the grounds that they were simultaneously useless and irritating. Snap's come across them a handful of times, and agrees on both counts.

The only way mouse droids can handle more complex assignments is to connect them together, like this little trio. Their only other modification is a knife taped to the side of the leader of the chain like an impotent little narwhal.

This is a joke. This has to be a joke, right?

The bell rings for the start of the match. Okay, so this isn't a joke. This is his _actual opponent_. What the hell?

Snap guffaws, awed in spite of himself at the blue-haired kid's naivete. "Take this fucker _down_ ," he says into his comlink. In theory, Snap's supposed to be using it to direct his creation, but in practice, Bones handles most of the strategy--or lack thereof--himself.

"ROGER THAT," Bones agrees, and stalks forward with gusto.

Blasters aren't allowed in these battles--too much danger of ricochet, even with the shields surrounding the ring. Instead, Mr. Bones lunges with his vibro-arm. The chain of mouse droids scatters at his approach, flying in every direction.

Okay, Snap has to admit that's actually kind of clever. The rules are that the fight isn't over until the opponent's droid has ceased to function entirely, so Bones is going to have to nail all three mice in order to win. They're faster and more manueverable than he is, which means the direct approach isn't going to work.

The one with the knife lunges for Bone's ankles, only to bounce back with a clatter as the knife tip snaps and clatters uselessly to the ground. The others whirl around in impotent circles, beeping hysterically.

Snap braces himself for a sneak attack that never comes. The mice can't possibly expect to win with that pathetic excuse for a weapon. Surely the blue-haired kid knows this. He can't be that stupid.

Right?

Mr. Bones leaps, crushing one of the boxy droids beneath his feet as he lands. It screams for a moment, then goes still with a barely audible sigh. The crowd goes wild. "Nice work, Bonesy," Snap calls in approval.

The blue-haired kid on the far side of the ring frowns as the mouse droids' frantic beeping ratchets up a notch, before he goes back to tapping at his data-pad. How can he be bored when his ass is getting kicked so badly? Doesn't he _care_? 

Whatever. His loss. Snap flicks his fingers back and forth and waits for Bones to do his thing.

It takes longer than Snap likes, but Bones cripples the second mouse droid after a few minutes of careful stalking. Now the one with sad little knife that can't even cut anything is the last one standing. 

The blue-haired kid isn't even pretending to pay attention anymore. 

"SHALL I DO THE HONORS, MASTER TEMMIN?" Bones purrs over the comm.

Snap nods, even though Bones's visual sensors can't register him at that angle. "Finish him," he commands, his sense of drama getting the better of him.

Mr. Bones rattles his vibroblade arm and charges at the twittering mouse droid. It stands its ground, heedless of its rapidly approaching doom--

\--only for Mr. Bones to jerk to a standstill and collapse in a twitching heap right in front of the boxy black droid.

Snap's jaw drops. Silence falls over the ring as everyone in audience registers what just happened. Then the room explodes as the announcer declares a victory for the mouse droid and everyone starts talking at once.

The blue-haired kid isn't grinning smugly, as you might expect someone who just snatched an impossible victory from the jaws of defeat. Instead, he gets up and strolls casually away with the datapad tucked under his arm.

Then Snap's rushing out into the arena, crouching over Mr. Bones's prone form as he desperately tries to figure out what went wrong --too preoccupied to care about anything outside getting his best friend back. 

***

He drags Mr. Bones to the side alley, and initiates an automatic restart. Somehow, the blue-haired kid got a KO without ever scoring a direct hit. How did he do that? And, more importantly, how can Snap keep anyone else from pulling that same stunt again? 

"MY SYSTEMS WERE SLICED VIA REMOTE PROGRAMMING," Mr. Bones reports on his return to consciousness.

So _that_ was the kid's plan. The mouse droids were just a cover for what was happening off-stage. That's... clever. Really clever. And both he and Mr. Bones fell for it. 

"I thought your encrypts were better than that," Snaps says sourly.

"SO DID I." Mr. Bones's vibroknife whirls with a murderous flair. "I'M SORRY, MASTER TEMMIN. I WON'T FAIL YOU AGAIN."

Snap sighs and pats his shoulder. " _You_ were amazing. It's not your fault that blue-haired kid tricked us. When we get home, I'll upgrade your programming so it won't happen again." He was supposed to fight in two more matches today, but fuck it, he doesn't need the money badly enough to risk Bones again today. He'll collect his winnings and call it a day.

What the hell stunt that kid had been trying to pull, anyway?

Something blunt and hard hits Snap's ankle as he kneels beside Mr. Bones, and he turns with a curse. The surviving mouse droid with the broken knife is bumping at his heels. With the knife tip broken off, the collision doesn't hurt much, but it's still annoying.

"Go away," Snap orders. Bones rattles his vibroknife menacingly.

The mouse droid refuses to take the hint.

"You won. Go celebrate somewhere else," Snap says, waving it away. "Shoo! Shoo!"

The droid's incomprehensible chatter intensifies.

"HE'S WORRIED ABOUT HIS MASTER," Bones translates. "THEY HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED BY... SOMEONE. SEVERAL SOMEONES."

Snap's mind races. Oh, _fuck_. Any one of the local crime lords would _love_ to get their hands on a talented slicer who could do what that kid had just done. Did he have _any_ common sense about showing off in public like that?

Nope. 

"Hey, Bones?"

"YES, MASTER TEMMIN?"

"You feel up to taking out some gangsters right now?"

Droids can't smile, but the purr in Bones's voice is unmistakable. "WITH PLEASURE."

The mouse droid cries piteously at Snap's feet, too stupid to realize it's won this battle, too. Snap leans over and pats its head, only to shake his head at the sentimentality and get to his feet before he embarrasses himself any further. 

"Come on," he says roughly to the mouse droid. "Lead the way."

The mouse droid zooms ahead with Mr. Bones in hot pursuit, leaving Snap to wearily pick his way through the alleyway behind them.

***

By the time Snap catches up with the two droids in the street outside, it's all over. Five mooks are dead or unconscious, blood pools all over the ground, and the blue-haired kid is standing there awkwardly, both hands tied behind his back.

Now that Snap has a chance to look more closely, it's clear the kid really is male. _And_ he's even prettier up close, with eyes the same improbable blue as his hair and odd-looking moon tattoos across his forehead. Snap blushes, as the kid catches his eye, pissed to be caught staring.

Now that the immediate danger is over, his annoyance returns with a vengeance. " _You_ ," he says to the kid, making no effort to hide his annoyance. "What the hell d'you think you're playing at?"

"Oh... sorry about your droid," the kid says sheepishly, eyes flicking back and forth between Snap and Bones as he puts the pieces together. "Look, I met this guy on the street who was talking about droid battles... and it looked like it might be fun, so I figured I'd try it out, you know?"

Snap backs off long enough to realize the two of them might have more in common than he thought. He studies the kid for a long moment, then makes his decision. "Bones, release him."

Mr. Bones saws through the bonds with his vibroknife, making no attempt to hide his glee at the kid's obvious discomfort at such close proximity. 

"I'm Snap Wexley and this is Mr. Bones," Snap says by way of introduction. "Don't worry, he only hurts people who mess with me."

"ALL'S FAIR IN WAR," Bones waves cheerfully, his good humor restored by a bout of righteous ass-kicking. "NO PERMANENT DAMAGE, NO HARD FEELINGS. RIGHT?"

"Right," the blue-haired kid says. He rubs his wrists and chews him lip thoughtfully. "Thanks for your help. I'm Ghent."

"Nice to meet you," Snap says. "I saw you earlier under the bridge--"

Ghent blinks, momentarily distracted from petting the mouse droid bumping at his ankle. "You've been watching me?"

Snap's cheeks flame. Okay, when you put it like that, that _does_ sound kind of stalkerish. "You're kinda hard to miss with that hair," he manages.

"Fair enough," Ghent acknowledges with a casual toss of said hair.

Snap is so full of questions he might burst, but Mr. Bones mutters something about tactical retreat, and he realizes that first he needs to get all of them out of here intact in case whoever tried to abduct Ghent sends out reinforcements. Bones is great, he really is, but even he can't take out an entire battalion by himself.

Snap turns to Ghent. "Hey--uh, want to come home with me, then?"

Limpid blue eyes blink back at him in confusion.

"I mean--you can crash at my place if you want... it isn't fancy, but it's better than under a bridge. Especially once the mausim start."

"Mausim?"

"Big storms. _Mega-_ big storms. The entire street floods. Trust me, you don't want to be out there when big one hits," Snap adds what he hopes is a winning smile.

"Won't...your parents mind?"

The old pain flares up, and Snap quickly squelches it back down. "I--uh, live by myself with just Mr. Bones for company," he admits. "The Empire put my father in prison and my mother's off trying to get him back." Even that much is a risk, but Ghent doesn't seem like the pro-Imperial type. "I--look, we can set up a bed for you in the workshop, I'll get us some hand pies on the way home--"

Okay, he must have said the magic words, because Ghent's face lights up at the mention of food. "Sure!"

Snap doesn't let go of Ghent's hands as they re-enter the warehouse and push through the crowd, afraid that the kid will wander off or get nabbed by more goons before they can collect their winnings and leave. To his credit, Ghent doesn't kick up a fuss, just goes along more or less placidly as Mr. Bones provides cover and the mouse droid zips at their heels.

They depart the warehouse without incident, credits jingling in Snap's pockets all the way back to the speeder. Mr. Bones insists on driving, which is fine, because that means Ghent wraps the arm that isn't cradling the surviving mouse droid around Snap's back to keep from falling off, which is--nice. Really, really nice. 

As promised, they stop into a street vendor's stall on the way home and orders a dozen hand pies, six of which Snap thrusts at an astonished Ghent. "On me," he says, shaking his head when Ghent tries to use some of _his_ winnings to pay up.

Ghent devours his share before Snap can say another word. How long has it been since the kid has eaten, anyway? Too long, clearly. He shakes his head, more disturbed by this revelation than he's willing to let on. 

When they get back to the shop, Snap gives his new houseguests a tour, waxing lyrically about everything under the sun. Ghent is amazed by all of Snap's salvaged treasures, and can't stop asking questions.

"Droids aren't really my forte, but you pick up a few things here and there, you know?" he gushes, gesturing around him. The mouse droid trails at his heels, beeping contentedly. "And this is place is _amazing_."

"Thanks," Snap says, too giddy from his comrade's obvious enthusiasm to come up with a more coherent response.

They talk for what feels like minutes before Snap's stomach growls, jerking him out of lecture mode. He checks his chronometer and realizes his share of the hand pies--most of which he ended up giving to Ghent--were an awfully long time ago.

"Wanna stay for dinner? I'm really not one for cooking, but we can order take-out."

"Take-out?" Ghent repeats, as if he can't believe his ears.

"Yeah. Corellian okay?"

Ghent nods. "This is so--great. Really great. I'm--" He pauses, considering his words carefully. "Thank you," he says at last.

Snap gets an idea that will either ruin everything or take it to the next level. He plucks up his courage, leans over, and kisses Ghent on the lips.

It's great. It's awkward. It's--

"MY SENSORS DETECT YOUR HEART RATE IS AT ABNORMALLY ELEVATED LEVELS, MASTER TEMMIN. IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?" Mr. Bones calls from the back room.

Snap jerks away with a curse. The worst part is that Bones is right. His heart is pumping like he's running for his life and everything outside of Ghent is a blur. "'M _fine_ , Bonesy--" he shouts back hastily.

Ghent is bright red and staring at the floor, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Bad sign. Snap scrambles for damage control. "Uh, sorry about that. You probably think I'm some sort of creep luring you here on false pretenses for nefarious purposes--"

Ghent shakes his head. "No, no, I've never kissed anyone before, that's all. But that was nice. I liked it."

Snap opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again. For a moment, the two of them stare at each other in silence. "Oh," he says weakly. "Want to do it again?"

Three hours later, Snap finally gets around to ordering take-out from the Corellian diner up the street. Ghent wolfs down his share, curls up on the cot beside him , and falls asleep on the cot beside him before Snap's finished breaking apart his chopsticks.

A tuft of aquamarine hair spills over Ghent's face as he snores, and it's the most adorable thing Snap has ever seen. The mouse droid is powered down in the corner, and everything in the shop is still and quiet except for Snap's contented chewing. 

Mr. Bones comes over from the back room, eyeing the tableau with interest. "I SUPPOSE YOU WANT ME TO PROTECT HIM, TOO," he says at last.

"Yeah," Snap says hoarsely. Bones has been his only friend for so long--is he jealous of how quickly these two interlopers have wormed their way into Snap's life? Snap doesn't even know if it's possible for a droid to be jealous, but Mr. Bones is always surprising him... 

"IF THIS LIFEFORM MAKES YOU HAPPY, THAT IS NOT OBJECTIONABLE." A pause. "WITH ALLIES SUCH AS THESE ON OUR SIDE, I WILL BE TRULY FORMIDABLE IN OUR NEXT DROID-ON-DROID CONFLICT AND ABLE TO MURDER THAT MUCH MORE EFFICIENTLY."

Snap grins. Between Mr. Bones' aggressive nature, Snap's augmentations, and Ghent's prowess with remote slicing, their opponents in the arena won't know what hit them. "You're right. It's gonna be _awesome_."

"MURDER IS ALWAYS AWESOME," Mr. Bones agrees in his usual deadpan. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched a lot of shonen tournament shows in which two teenagers battle each other (either directly or via proxies) in an arena in a decidedly homoerotic rivalry, and I felt like transferring some of that vibe to the GFFA. Ghent even has the brilliantly colored hair of an anime protagonist, no less! 
> 
> Did you know Snap and Ghent are the same age? I did not until I started researching for this fic! I imagine them as 15-16 here, prior to the Battle of Endor and the events of the Aftermath series (for Snap) and before Ghent meets Mara Jade in "Handoff" (for Ghent). 
> 
> Yes, Ghent's mouse droid-with-a-knife is an homage to Stabby the Space Roomba (or the GFFA equivalent). Because he _totally_ would.


End file.
